I ordered some clothes from ASOS (a web based clothes retailer) a couple of weeks ago and noticed they had sent it to the wrong address. After sending them a few emails, to which I have received nothing but automated response, and failing to find a phone number on their website to contact ASOS directly, I spat my dummy out this morning and decided to send them this email.
Hi ASOS “Customer Care” Robot,
I have recently sent you a few emails to enquire when I can expect to receive my parcel, your replies thus far have had about as much clarity as an Alzheimer patients dinner plans, but since you have been so obliging with random answers I thought I’d drop you another email to see what your magic 8 ball said today.
As my previous emails have stated (I am sure you have now used these to line the litter tray for your delightful robocat) my parcel was sent by yourselves to an address, then on to a post office in Kingston upon Thames, with me living in Scotland it is proving a little difficult for me to collect.
Now I realise I am probably being lazy and should make the effort to complete the 840 mile round trip journey, therefore saving you any further inconvenience with my enquiry. But sadly I am in the process of watching my carbon footprint and would hope that as a “customer care” robot you see this as a logical lifestyle choice.
The ultimate solution is for my package to arrive at (home address here) at some point while the clothes are still fashionable, but since the order was due to arrive on the 17th of January, I am now running of the risk of them arriving and having no choice but to donate them to a museum for future generations to enjoy.
In the hope you will forward my email to a person that uses oxygen as a means of capitalising brain function, I would love to hear confirmation my enquiry is being dealt with and when in fact I can expect my delivery. Alternatively, one more role from your magic 8 ball may just be what I need to break my spirit, therefore ruining my carbon footprint and rampaging around the world not giving a damn about the future.
Kind regards,
Chris Henry
I had a very similar experience with ASOS, in the States. They shipped my order in a very timely manner, but I noticed, while tracking my order, that there were no updates after it arrived in New Jersey. 10 days after it arrived in NJ, with no further tracking updates, I had yet to receive the order. Ten days is beyond reasonable time for a package to make it down from Jersey to the Carolnas, it’s not as though they have to make the deliveries by pony.
I sent a concerned email to ASOS. They sent a thoughtful reply (from a human being) basically saying “sucks for you…if it’s not there one month after we shipped it, then we’ll look into it”.
2 weeks since the item arrived in Jersey, now. What are the odds I’m ever gonna see that package?
Grrrrrrrrr.
Hi Chris,
Just wanted to say that a) your letter was extremely witty and made me laugh when I know that I shouldn’t have and b) this has been escalated as priority to our Customer Care Team (of the non-robot variety) – who will be in touch directly, if they haven’t done so already.
Please let me know if things are not resolved satisfactorily.
Best regards,
ASOS Nat
Social Media Coordinator at ASOS